Friday, August 23, 2013

Satirical List of Napoles' Stuff

Napoles' House
The controversial array of high-priced vehicles and houses owned by Janet Lim Napoles and family, has spurned a site (So What's News) to make a satirical list of weird stuff that could be included in her possession as well. It ranges from the most absurd, mind-blowing to the most comedic items.

At present, Department of Justice (DOJ) Secretary Leila De Lima is asking the public for assistance in catching the high-profile fugitive who has identified as the alleged brains behind the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) scam. The amount of money involved was believed to have reach as much as PhP 10-Billion, including the PhP 900M Malampaya Fund of lawmakers.

To add a little spice in our quest for justice in this alleged corruption that spurned Filipinos to post thousands of hateful remarks online, here is the make-believe list:
  1. Crocodile Skin Umbrella
  2. Islander "Pang Masang" Tsinelas Wrapped in 24k Gold
  3. Vaccum Cleaner Encrusted with 4,869 Swarovski Diamonds
  4. Carbon Fiber Toilet Seat for Master Bedroom Bathroom
  5. Clive Christian No. 1 Imperial Majesty Perfumed Tissue Paper
  6. 10-Cubic Meter Personal Shark Aquarium
  7. Augusta Westland AW101 VVIP Private Helicopter
  8. 7 Pairs of Google Glasses
  9. Prestige HD Alligator Skinned Diamond Encrusted HDTV
  10. Carbon Fiber Toilet Seat for Maid’s Room Bathroom
  11. 15 Kilos of Foie Gras
  12. 3 Bengal Tigers as Pets
  13. Gulfstream III Private Jet
  14. Wagyu Cattle Ranch Located in Bulacan
  15. Rare Diamond Encrusted Apple iPhone Running Android OS
  16. Closet Full of Secret Circus Jeans
  17. Polar Bear Skinned Sofa
  18. Cupboard Full of Jars of Cookie Butter
  19. Internet Connection without "Fair Usage Policy"
  20. Nuclear-Powered Submarine
  21. 30-Man Servants/Househelpers Dressed as "Minions"
  22. Knight Industries Two Thousand (KITT) Vehicle from "Knight Rider"
  23. Real Life Rosie the Robot Maid from the "Jetsons"
  24. 6-Lane Bowling Alley in One of the Mansions
  25. Professor Kean Bean Under Payroll
  26. Smellmaster 9000
  27. World Class Photographer
  28. Truckloads of Beluga Caviar for Maid’s "Palaman sa Pandesal"
  29. Alba White Truffle Farm on her Backyard
  30. Armani-Designed Uniforms for Househelp
  31. Call Center Agents to Answer Personal Calls
  32. Personal Orchestra that Plays Every Time the Door Bess is Press
  33. SIM Card with Corrupt Lawmakers on Speed Dial
  34. Mumble – Penguin from Happy Feet
  35. Fort Knox-esque Vault Containing Taxpayer’s Money

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